Assurance
by tswsots
Summary: Nine years after season 4, Ellen finds someone unexpected on her doorstep. Patty/Ellen femslash.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

_**She Doesn't Know I'm Gone**_

It's nine pm on Friday and Ellen has finally reached home after her third late night at the office in as many days. As she approaches her apartment and digs in her bag for her keys, she nearly trips over a dark shape huddled in the door frame. Upon inspection, the shape turns out to be a sleeping girl, age perhaps twelve, slumped over and leaning her head against a backpack. Ellen hesitates, wondering what she should do. The girl gives a sleepy little sound, opening and closing her mouth. Then her blue eyes open wide, seeming to glow in the dark, and she fixes Ellen with a look that is so sharp and challenging it takes Ellen's breath away. She seems to dare Ellen to question her right to be here. And then Ellen realizes who this is. Who it must be.

"Catherine?"

"You remember me." The girl looks gratified.

"Of course. I – what are you doing here?"

She shrugs. "I ran away."

"And you came here?" Ellen is nonplussed.

"I thought you'd get it. 'Cause you, you know. You know her."

"Patty?" Ellen hasn't pronounced this name in ages. It feels funny on her lips.

"Yeah."

Ellen feels very tired suddenly. She rubs her eyes with her hand. "Let's go inside, okay?" she says.

Catherine springs to her feet, and Ellen, who feels stiff and weighed down with stress and fatigue, tries to remember what it felt like to be that spry.

Ellen discards her belongings on the kitchen table. She takes a seat and Catherine follows suit.

Ellen turns to the girl with what she hopes is an adequately stern expression and says, "How did you get into the building? The doorman shouldn't have let you in."

Catherine smiles smugly. "I improvised."

"And where does Patty think you are?"

Catherine's face darkens. "Home. Asleep in my room. At least, she would think I was home if she thought about it. I don't think she thinks about me that much."

"Catherine, I'm sure that's not true."

"When she has a deposition coming up it's true. I can't remember the last time she even asked me how my day was."

Oh. This Ellen can easily believe. Her heart goes out to Catherine, but she knows it's her role to defend Patty in this situation, so she begins to, clumsily.

"Your grandma loves you very much, Catherine. She just gets… preoccupied."

Catherine rolls her eyes and says, "Skip it. Do you have anything to eat?"

"Of course. I have…" Ellen starts opening the cupboards, and realizes she doesn't have much. "Olives. Do you like olives?"

Catherine giggles. "That's all you have?"

"No," Ellen allows herself to sound annoyed. "There's some leftover lasagna in the fridge, I think. Do you want that?"

"Yes, please," Catherine, possibly reminded that Ellen could call Patty at any time, has suddenly remembered her manners.

Ellen finds the saran-wrapped casserole dish in the fridge. She tips the remaining brick of lasagna onto a plate and puts it in the microwave.

"Something to drink?" she says.

"Water is good."

Ellen hands Catherine a full glass and says, "Seriously. I should call Patty, right?"

"Seriously," Catherine mocks her, "she doesn't know I'm gone yet."

"So what's the plan?" Ellen says.

Catherine drinks the water. She wipes her mouth on her wrist and looks at Ellen hopefully. "Can I spend the night?"

Ellen considers. "You have overnight stuff in your bag?"

"Yep."

"It's okay with me if it's okay with Patty," Ellen decides. "Do you want to call her or should I?"

"I'll call her," Catherine says.

The microwave beeps.

"After I eat my lasagna I'll call her," Catherine amends. She raises her eyebrows at Ellen, waiting to see if she'll get away with this qualification.

Ellen simply nods, takes the plate from the microwave and sets it in front of Catherine, along with a fork and a napkin. "Careful," she says. "It's hot."

Catherine chews, and she and Ellen eye each other curiously.

* * *

Catherine has been missing for five hours. No one has seen her since she left school. Patty has stopped crying by now, but when she speaks, her voice sounds hoarse to her own ears.

"You're saying she definitely didn't get in a cab?"

Detective Huntley nods. "Well, no cab driver picked her up near her school. If she walked to another neighborhood, or if she took the subway and then took a cab, we should hear about it by morning."

"By morning." Patty can't help it, her eyes well up again.

Detective Huntley is giving her a probing look, and she knows he is deciding whether or not to say something.

"What is it?" she says.

"I'm curious. This fight you had with your granddaughter…"

"It wasn't a fight."

"Right… But you did say, didn't you, that she was angry with you when she left for school this morning…"

"Yes," Patty says.

"Any idea why that might have been?"

"This conversation isn't helping us find Catherine," Patty says testily.

"Right. Sorry, of course. It's just… sometimes… knowing what was on a missing person's mind is sometimes helpful."

Patty still doesn't look ready to spill her gut, so the detective changes tacks. "Tell me something," he says. "You think Catherine ran away, don't you? And she's safe somewhere?"

"Yes," Patty says. "She's smart."

"But none of her friends, her teachers, anyone she knows… no one has seen or heard from her. I think… twelve years old… in a case like this, we might have to start considering… alternatives."

Patty looks at him through her tears and doesn't say that she's been considering alternatives for the last five hours. She just gulps and nods.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Yes, Well. She Lies.**_

Having finished her lasagna and cleared her plate, Catherine says, "So. I guess you want me to make that call."

"Yes," Ellen says.

Ellen hands Catherine her phone.

Catherine moves away from Ellen, toward the living room, making the call a little more private.

"Here goes nothing," she says, and dials. She waits. "Voicemail," she mouths at Ellen. She fidgets and then starts to leave a message.

"Hi, Grandma. Um. I'm staying at Ellen's tonight. Ellen Parsons. At her apartment. She said it would be okay if it was okay with you. So, yeah. Call back if it isn't okay."

Catherine hangs up.

"I told you," she tells Ellen. "She barely knows I exist."

Ellen shrugs and looks sympathetic. She doesn't want to agree with Catherine, but on the other hand, what kind of guardian doesn't take a call at nine thirty at night?

"You want the couch or the air mattress?" Ellen says.

"Air mattress."

"I'll go get it."

When the air mattress is blown up and Catherine is ready for bed Ellen sits on the couch. Catherine sits across from her in a chair, and Ellen gives her a long, hard look.

She is at a skinny, awkward age, but she has those amazing eyes, and her expression is lovely and serious. But what Ellen notices most is how much Catherine looks like Patty. It's not her features, but her motions and her expressions. Like now, when she casually picks at the lint on the arm of the chair she's sitting in, and then half glances up and gives Ellen a falsely sweet smile to let her know that yes, she is kind of judging the furniture.

"So," Ellen says. "Why did you run away?"

"I was sick of her bullshit," Catherine says.

Ellen starts. The exact same words she herself once used with Patty.

"Sorry," Catherine says, apologizing for her language, but tilting her chin in a way that says she isn't sorry.

"Specifically?" Ellen prompts.

Catherine takes a breath. "She lies about stuff. She told me my mom was dead. Like, that's what I thought when I was little." Catherine gives Ellen an accusatory look. "My mom's not dead," she informs her, watching for a reaction.

"I know," Ellen says.

Catherine seems pleased that Ellen didn't pretend ignorance.

"And she won't let me talk to my dad."

Well. That Ellen can understand. The custody battle was fraught, to put it mildly. Ellen almost got involved, but Michael's lawyer decided at the last second that her testimony might not help his case. In retrospect, Ellen is very, very glad.

"I see," Ellen says.

Catherine's eyes flash. "It's not just that."

Ellen waits.

"She expects me to be perfect. Like, if I don't get a good grade, she acts like I did it on purpose to bother her." Catherine worries her lip. "Sometimes I do," she confesses. "Get bad grades on purpose to bother her."

"Why?" Ellen says, feeling like she's gone into shrink-mode.

"So she'll pay attention. So she won't think that I'm so perfect she doesn't have to worry about me."

"So she'll think about you instead of about her case," Ellen guesses.

Catherine nods.

"Did something happen today?" Ellen asks.

"What?" Catherine says.

"Did something happen with Patty today? Something that made you run away?"

Catherine considers. "I don't want to talk about it," she says finally.

"Okay," Ellen says. "I'm going to get ready for bed. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will."

"G'night," Ellen says, smiling.

"Goodnight."

* * *

Once ready for bed, Ellen checks on Catherine, who is sleeping peacefully. She decides to call Patty, to make sure she really is okay with Catherine spending the night. And maybe, if she feels brave, to offer some subtle criticism of Patty's parenting. She picks up her phone. She's not sure if the number she has for Patty is current, so she hits redial.

"Ellen, honey? It's late, is everything okay?" Ellen had been bracing herself to hear Patty's voice, or at least Patty's voicemail, and she is startled to hear her own mother's voice instead.

"Oh. Yeah, Mom. Everything is good. I'm sorry. I called you by mistake."

"I was in bed."

"Oh. Sorry."

"That's alright. Call me tomorrow?"

"Sure, Mom. Bye."

Now Ellen is puzzled. She scrolls through the recently dialed numbers on her phone. All are familiar. None of them could be Patty's number. And anyway, Catherine's call to Patty should have been the most recent.

And then Ellen feels like a complete idiot. Of course. Catherine didn't call Patty at all. She didn't call anybody. She stood there in front of Ellen and put on a performance, and Ellen bought it.

* * *

Detective Huntley has left, and Patty is staring helplessly around her empty apartment. She would rather be out looking for Catherine, but she knows she should stay here in case Catherine comes home. She wants a drink, but decides it's a bad idea.

She goes into Catherine's room and sits on the bed. She picks up Blueberry and looks into the stuffed animal's beaded eyes, trying to imagine she sees expression there. Corey died last year. Patty could have used his company tonight.

Her phone rings, and Patty goes rigid. "Yes?"

"Patty, Catherine's safe. She's here."

"Thank God." Patty collapses against the pillows, suffused with relief and gratitude. Then she realizes to whom she is speaking. "_Ellen_?"

* * *

"Yeah, it's me," Ellen says when Patty recognizes her voice.

"Catherine's with _you_?" Ellen doesn't think Patty meant for that to sound so much like an insult, but she can't be sure.

"Yeah. She just – showed up at my apartment. I'm sorry, Patty, she told me – I thought you knew she was here."

There's a beat. Then, "Let me talk to her." Patty's voice has gone soft and dangerous.

"She's sleeping." Ellen says protectively.

"Sleeping? How long has she been with you?"

Ellen checks her watch. "Two hours."

"_Two hours_," Patty hisses. "And you call me now."

Ellen swallows. "I'm sorry," she says again. "Like I said, I thought you knew. She said she called you. She also said you wouldn't have missed her yet."

"Yes, well," Patty says. "She lies."

"I know that now," Ellen says.

"She's been missing for seven hours," Patty says. "I've been frantic."

"Jesus," Ellen exhales.

"I'm coming over," Patty says.

"You think you should?" Ellen says. "Couldn't we leave her until morning? Give everyone a chance to calm down?"

"Everyone?" Patty says.

"Well, okay, give _you_a chance to calm down, Patty."

"I'll be calmer when I've seen my granddaughter."

Ellen can't argue with that logic. "Okay," she says. "You have my address?"

"Yes."

It occurs to Ellen to wonder why the Hewes women know where to find her. She has moved twice since the last time she saw Patty.

"See you soon," she says.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Are You Going to Wake Her?**_

Patty hangs up the phone and calls Detective Huntley.

"She's found," Patty says when he picks up. "You can call off the search."

"Oh! That's… that's wonderful. She's home?"

"She will be soon," Patty says. Patty knows the detective wants more details, but she doesn't feel like giving them right now. Instead she tells him sincerely, "Thank you for your help."

"Of course, Patty," he says.

"Get some sleep," she tells him.

He laughs and says pointedly, "_I _will."

Patty rolls her eyes at her phone and hangs up.

She puts on a jacket and leaves her apartment. She will walk a few blocks and then hail a cab, she decides. It is a warm spring night, and Ellen is right, she does need to calm down. She doesn't want to have a shouting match with Catherine in front of Ellen. Catherine is unpredictable – who knows what she would bring up? She wonders what Catherine has already told Ellen to her prejudice.

"Any news?" the door woman asks as Patty passes her.

She's new, and Patty hasn't learned her name yet. Perry got married and moved to Texas a few years back. Patty was the only person in the building not invited to the wedding.

"She's safe," Patty says. "Staying with a friend."

"Oh, good."

A friend. Is Ellen a friend? Patty's mind teems with questions. Catherine went to Ellen. What does that mean? Patty has quietly kept tabs on Ellen for years – keeping Ellen's updated address in her book, keeping her ears open for any rumors relating to Ellen's cases – but she didn't realize that Catherine knew this. Has she mentioned her former associate's name a few times too often in the little girl's hearing? Catherine is too much like her father and too much like Patty herself: she doesn't miss a trick.

Patty gets into a taxi and gives the driver Ellen's address on the Upper West Side. She grows serene as she watches the city lights slide by her window. The verbal flaying Catherine will get can wait until morning, Patty decides. Tonight they will both be tired.

She regards Ellen's building with curiosity. It is very nice, definitely an improvement on where Ellen was living nine years ago. Ellen is now a senior partner at a prestigious firm. She has done well for herself. Patty never doubted she would.

Ellen must have alerted her building's receptionist that Patty was coming, because he nods to her and says, "Go on up, Miss Hewes."

She sweeps past and gets in the elevator. Outside Ellen's door, she suddenly becomes self-conscious about her appearance. She hasn't seen Ellen in nine years, after all. She doesn't usually think of herself as an old lady, but she wonders if that is how Ellen will see her. She wishes she had looked in the mirror, maybe run a brush through her hair, before she left the apartment. Then she shakes her head to dispel these concerns, which, under the circumstances, are absurdly trivial.

Ellen comes to the door in PJs and a flannel robe. Her face betrays some trepidation, but her smile is friendly enough. _Oh, Jesus, that smile_. Patty gives the younger woman an antagonistic look – Ellen shouldn't be let off the hook entirely for her role in this debacle – but inside she has softened considerably. Ellen puts a finger to her lips and motions toward the living room. Patty follows her around the sofa.

"Oh," Patty sighs, gratefully taking in the sight of the little girl asleep on the air mattress with her arms wrapped tightly around one pillow and her head resting on another.

* * *

Ellen is very relieved to see that Patty's anger has cooled.

"Are you going to wake her?" she whispers.

"In a minute," Patty says. She stands looking at Catherine for several more seconds, then bends down and shakes her shoulder.

"Catherine," Patty murmurs.

Catherine reaches a sleepy arm up around Patty's neck, and Patty pulls her into a hug. It is an affecting scene, and Ellen gets a lump in her throat as she watches. Then Patty begins to shake Catherine gently from side to side.

"If you ever, ever, ever…" she says inarticulately.

"I know," Catherine says. "I'm sorry."

"Let's go home," Patty says after a pause. "Where are your shoes?"

Ellen gets them along with Catherine's other things, and continues to watch mesmerized as Patty helps Catherine on with her jacket and sneakers.

"I'm not five," Catherine grumbles, but there's no edge to it.

"So…" Ellen says uncertainly.

"We'll talk," Patty tells her.

Ellen nods. "Goodnight."

Catherine turns and gives Ellen a look that says many things at once. "Thanks," she whispers. And then they are both gone.

Ellen closes the door on them and makes a beeline for her yawning bed.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

_**You Don't Like the Idea**_

Patty and Catherine are never far from Ellen's thoughts on Saturday, but she resists the temptation to call. Patty will call her. She always has. Sometimes Ellen thinks she's been waiting for Patty to call these last nine years.

_I am offering you my hand, Ellen. I will not offer it again._

Ellen didn't believe those words at the time, and she doesn't quite believe them now, either, but it's been a long wait. Not that she was playing games back then. She was furious with Patty for disregarding her wishes and putting Chris in danger.

But later she became philosophical. She had asked Patty for help with the High Star case – not just financial help, but advice and collaboration. And she had done it knowing exactly what Patty was like. Why had she done that if she didn't want to try the case Patty's way? And how could she ever seriously have thought that Patty would back off if Ellen asked her to? Ellen has even wondered guiltily whether she secretly wanted Patty to do exactly what Patty did do – so that Ellen wouldn't have to.

Whatever resentment she was harboring is pretty nearly forgotten. So now, yes, she does want to be invited to reenter Patty's life.

At dinner time, she receives a text.

_Coffee tomorrow? 10 am?_

Ellen is all smiles.

* * *

They meet in the same old café. The layout of the place hasn't changed, although it seems to Ellen the walls are a different color. She orders a latte and sits at a table.

She sees Patty coming through the window and indulges in watching her. Ellen loves watching Patty, and God, she's missed it. Everything about Patty takes Ellen's breath away – her posture, her purposeful stride, the swing of her hips, the set of her jaw. Friday night she looked tousled and exhausted, but still lovely in a soft, domestic way. Today, however, she has dressed to impress in a light grey suit. Yep, the lady is a stunner.

"Hi."

Patty joins Ellen and surprises her by kissing her cheek. Well. This is different.

"Hi, Patty. How are you? How's Catherine?"

"Sulking," Patty says. "She's grounded."

"Sorry."

Patty waves a hand dismissively. "Could be worse."

Patty settles into her chair and looks at a menu.

Ellen takes a breath. "Patty, I'm really sorry I didn't call you sooner than I did on Friday. I should have realized that you would be desperate."

"But you didn't realize," Patty says a little sharply. "You must have a pretty poor opinion of me as a guardian."

She is offended. Ellen swallows.

"I was wrong."

"Well. I accept your apology." Patty pauses. "No doubt she told you a litany of horror stories about me,"

"Not really…" Ellen equivocates.

"What did she say?"

"She resents your work. She admitted she acts out to get your attention. She's very clear about that."

Patty looks relieved, so Ellen concludes there is more to the rift between Patty and Catherine than just that. She decides to push Patty, just a little.

"Catherine implied something happened between you two. Something she didn't want to talk about."

Patty tenses. "We had a spirited discussion, yes."

"About?"

"She wants me to date," Patty says.

Ellen chokes on her coffee. She wipes her mouth with her napkin and stares at Patty, bug-eyed.

"Why?"

Patty looks one part amused and two parts exasperated. "She thinks it would be good for me." She spots a waiter. "I'd like a pot of green tea and a brioche."

Ellen looks at her expectantly, and after a minute, Patty continues.

"A boy in Catherine's class asked her to go to a rock concert with him. I didn't like the idea, and now Catherine thinks that I'm trying to ruin her social life because I don't have one."

Ellen thinks this is pretty funny, but Patty already looks put upon, so she doesn't dare crack a smile.

"Now," Patty says, "Catherine is staging a protest. She has decided she won't do her homework until I go on a date."

Now Ellen really can't help it. She guffaws.

"Thank you, you're very helpful," Patty snaps.

"I'm sorry," Ellen gasps. "So on Friday…"

"I yelled at her," Patty says. "I told her she was unreasonable. She told me I was unreasonable. We were both pretty furious when she left for school."

"And has the homework strike stopped?"

"No."

The waiter appears with Patty's order.

When he leaves, Ellen resumes the conversation.

"Why don't you just go on a date?"

"What?" Patty says. "You can't be serious. I am not going to concoct a romance to satisfy my granddaughter."

"One date, though," Ellen says. "Would that be so terrible? Just so she'd stop giving you a hard time. You must have _legions_ of men who are interested, right, Patty?"

Ellen meant to tease her, but Patty interprets the question seriously. She chews her brioche. "A few." She grimaces. "Not a very appealing selection."

Patty thinks for several seconds. Then she says something Ellen almost doesn't catch, because Patty's head is turned away.

"What about you?" Patty says.

"What about me? You mean, do I have men interested?"

Patty clears her throat. "No, I mean, would you like to go on a date with me?"

Ellen doesn't speak because she is convinced she heard wrong.

"You don't like the idea," Patty says.

Ellen imagines she feels the room temperature change. "You're - not kidding."

Patty gives Ellen a cool, steely look and waits for an answer.

* * *

Patty's casual manner is absolutely an act. She was as surprised as Ellen to hear herself make the suggestion. She wonders how long her subconscious has been planning this. Since she saw Ellen in her pajamas Friday night? Since she heard Ellen's voice on the phone? Or maybe much longer. Patty learned two years ago from a mutual acquaintance that Ellen had broken up with a girlfriend. Did she start scheming back then?

She is hoping that if she stays collected Ellen will somehow fail to notice that the invitation is completely out of left field. It seems to be working, sort of, insofar as Ellen looks puzzled rather than horrified.

"You've dated women before," Patty says. "And besides, you and I have… interests in common." She smiles ironically.

"What, do you spy on me?" Ellen splutters.

Patty shrugs as if to say, _Naturally_. "I hear things," she says.

Patty learned the hard way that she can't always read Ellen. After all, the girl fooled her for a whole six months while she was working for the Feds. Right now, however, interpreting Ellen's expressions is almost comically easy.

She's watched the raised eyebrows (disbelief) turn to a frown (confusion). Now the brows narrow (suspicion). And then Patty sees the flicker of – is it curiosity? – light Ellen's eyes. And she rejoices. Ellen will say yes.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

_**You Like to Play Games**_

Ellen does something that is either really stupid or completely inspired: she pregames. Just one shot, but since she hasn't eaten anything yet, it will have its effect. The thing is, she is really nervous. Ellen has always, always found Patty attractive and if she could let herself think that they are on the brink of taking their relationship to a new level… well, it would be exciting. Scary and exciting. But sober Ellen can't trust Patty not to have a hidden agenda. Sober Ellen would overanalyze every word Patty said and would have a miserable time. So buzzed Ellen will be going on the date, and buzzed Ellen will either have a rollicking good time or make an idiot of herself.

It is Friday night, and Ellen hasn't seen Patty since Sunday. Patty is sending a car for Ellen, which will take her to Patty's apartment downtown so that Catherine can see for herself that her grandmother really and truly does have a date.

Ellen thought long and hard about what to wear. She doesn't know what this date is, so she doesn't want to look like she put in too much extra effort. On the other hand, she sure as Hell wants to look good. She's decided to keep it simple. She is wearing a short, strapless black dress that is a staple in her closet and silver jewelry. Her hair is pulled back with a few invisible pins.

She is bringing Patty a box of chocolates – something she thinks Catherine will also appreciate.

Her phone rings, and her apartment's receptionist tells her that the car is here. Ellen glances at herself in the mirror one last time.

"Here goes nothing," she says, consciously mimicking what Catherine said to her the week before.

* * *

Patty answers the door and favors Ellen with a beaming smile.

"Hello, Ellen," she says. "You look beautiful."

Patty sounds the way she used to when showing exaggerated civility in front of the media, but there is no one else here, so the charm is just for Ellen. For some reason, this makes Ellen blush.

"Thank you Patty. You look nice too." This is an understatement, but it's all Ellen can manage right now. Patty looks dazzling in a form-fitting brown dress trimmed with brown lace.

Ellen hands her the box of chocolates, and Patty checks the label. "Oh, good, nuts," she says. "Thank you." Then she says, "Catherine's looking forward to seeing you. Catherine!" she calls up the stairs.

Catherine comes clomping down. She is followed by a tall girl who looks about 22 years old.

"Jayna this is Ellen," Patty says. "Ellen this is Jayna, Catherine's baby-sitter."

"Hi, Jayna. Hi, Catherine." Ellen says.

"Good to meet you," Jayna says.

Catherine says, "Hi, Ellen. You look pretty."

She seems shy around Ellen now, very different from how she was a week ago. Ellen wonders if she is thinking about the lies she told.

"Thanks," Ellen says. "So is the homework strike over?"

Catherine nods. "I'll go get my math book."

"Don't study too hard," Ellen risks, even though Patty is right there listening. "It's Friday night."

Ellen glances at Patty out of the corner of her eye and is glad to see that Patty is unperturbed. Actually, she looks pleased as punch. Ellen can't remember seeing her so happy, except possibly when celebrating the settlement in the Frobisher case. That seems like a lifetime ago.

* * *

They are seated in a very private corner of a small French restaurant. It is quiet and dim, and Patty's eyes gleam in the candlelight as she smiles at Ellen over a glass of wine and opens the conversation.

"So tell me something about you that I don't know yet," Patty says.

"Is there anything?" Ellen says. "We've established you keep tabs on my love life."

Patty pretends to bristle. "I don't 'keep tabs.' I keep my ears open. There's a difference."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Ellen sneers a little. Alcohol has made her brave.

"Why are you being so antagonistic?" Patty says. There's a slight edge to her voice for the first time this evening.

"Because I don't know what this is!"

"It's a date."

"Right. Suddenly, out of the blue, after we don't see each other for nine years, a date."

"Why did you come if that's the way you feel?"

Ellen thinks for a minute. "I want to be here, Patty, I do," she says finally, speaking much more softly than before. "It's just that… you like to play games. And I don't know if this is part of a game, or…"

Patty looks her straight in the eyes and says, "I'm not playing a game with you tonight, Ellen. I promise. I've wanted to do this for a very long time."

Ellen's curiosity is peaked. "Really? How long?"

"I don't know," Patty says.

"When I still worked for you?" Ellen prods.

"I always thought you were a very beautiful girl," Patty says. "When I first met you I thought that."

"But you weren't interested in me romantically, then, were you? You weren't planning this date while you were assigning me to do research and write briefs?"

Patty frowns. "I don't know," she says again.

Ellen lets it go, because she thinks she's just understood something about Patty for the first time. Patty isn't being coy. She really doesn't know. Patty's actions and their motives – seemingly all part of a master plan – are sometimes a mystery to Patty herself .

Thinking about this date as part of a master plan makes Ellen laugh.

She says, "You know something? I still don't know who is the mastermind behind this evening – you or Catherine."

"Catherine didn't make the reservation," Patty says. "However, she did choose the dress."

"Seriously?" Ellen giggles a little long, and Patty glances at the level of the wine in her glass.

"You started drinking before you left," Patty realizes. "Didn't you?" She doesn't sound annoyed, just surprised.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I was nervous, Patty," Ellen confesses.

Patty grins seductively. "Am I so intimidating?" Her voice is low.

"Yes!" Ellen practically shrieks. It is somehow a huge relief to say this. Ellen feels like she has been faking confidence (with varying degrees of success) since the day she met Patty. It makes a nice change simply to admit to being uneasy.

And Patty doesn't look displeased. On the contrary, she is almost preening. Which is infuriating and funny and sexy all at the same time.

* * *

Patty thinks the evening has been just about perfect. She is even glad that Ellen voiced some of her concerns. Somehow having Ellen back in her world has righted it. She smiles at the girl as they sit next to each other in the car on the way to Ellen's apartment and impulsively reaches for her hand. Ellen gives her a shy smile and squeezes Patty's hand back. They hold hands for forty blocks.

The car pulls up to Ellen's apartment building and the driver opens the door for Ellen, who turns to Patty.

"Do you want to come up for a cup of coffee or something?" she offers.

Patty shakes her head. "Jayna is expecting me in fifteen minutes, but I can walk you to your door."

In front of Ellen's door, Patty hesitates for the first time all evening. It's not a lack of confidence. It's just that she wants to do this right. She looks at Ellen's white throat, her soft hair, her sparkling eyes. And she says very quietly and with emphasis, "May I kiss you?"

And Ellen whispers, "Yes," and leans in.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

_**I Need a Favor**_

Ellen's doorbell rings early Saturday morning and a delivery man hands her a huge bouquet of orange gladiolas.

Ellen feels giddy as she arranges them in a vase. Because kissing Patty was a revelation. It answered about a hundred questions she has had about Patty… from what she tastes like to whether she likes tongue (yes, but not too much) to how she feels about Ellen. Patty _cherishes_ Ellen. Ellen can't doubt it anymore. It makes her want to kiss Patty a lot more. Also, she wants to do more than kiss.

She is troubled, however, by the fact that Patty was so completely in control (as opposed to Ellen, who was tipsy and ungracious). She wants to do something that will throw Patty off balance and remind her with whom she is dealing. She wants to do something bold and romantic and surprising. Maybe she should propose, she thinks. Well, no, okay, it's a little soon for that. A lot soon. But she makes an internal vow that, if they get that far, she will definitely do the proposing. Not Patty.

_Oh, wow, Parsons_, she thinks. _Patty kissed you one time and you're hearing wedding bells. _She shakes her head.

But throughout the day, she catches herself humming. And long about four o'clock in the afternoon, she has a thought that makes her fairly cackle.

She scrolls through her contacts and makes a call.

"Hey, Ethan? It's Ellen. Listen. I need a favor."

* * *

Patty is working at home on Sunday afternoon. Catherine went to a movie with a gaggle of her friends and won't be home until dinner time. Patty wants to call Ellen, but she judges she should wait, because they spoke on the phone yesterday.

Her hopes are raised when the phone rings, and then dashed when she sees a number she doesn't recognize.

"Miss Hewes?"

"Yes?"

"I need to meet with you. I have some information."

The caller is a man. He has a deep, pleasant voice.

"What kind of information?"

"I really can't say over the phone."

"How did you get this number?" she says.

"Alvin Gallagher at the D. A.'s office told me call you."

It's a name Patty trusts, so she relaxes. This has possibilities. She already has two witnesses lined up to testify against her target, and she has some documents that will pretty well cook his goose, too, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to have a few more tricks up her sleeve.

"Okay," she says. "Where do you want to meet me?"

"Central Park. In front of Cleopatra's needle. Can you be there at five o'clock?"

"Yes, that's fine," Patty says.

"I'll be wearing a dark suit and a red tie. See you there?"

"See you there."

* * *

Patty has been waiting several minutes, observing the promenade of roller bladers, dog walkers and joggers, when a voice behind her says, "Miss Hewes?"

She turns. As promised, the stranger is wearing a dark suit and a red tie. But he is much younger than Patty would have guessed from his voice – he looks about nineteen.

More surprising is the fact that behind him are no fewer than thirteen young men, all wearing dark suits and red ties.

"What is this?" Patty says cautiously. It feels like she has stepped into one of her more surreal dreams. She shivers a little.

"Miss Hewes, I have a message for you," the mystery caller says.

"_Well_?" Patty says impatiently.

The boy looks nervous. He turns a little pink. Then, to her complete stupefaction, he starts to sing.

"Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars–"

And then there are fourteen boys singing –

"– Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars. In other words, hold my hand –"

Apparently there is choreography, too. A crowd is gathering and people are staring.

"– In other words, darling, kiss me…"

Patty wants to be peeved, she really does. She has better things to do, and besides, she was genuinely frightened for a second. But she can't help it. She cracks a smile. And then she throws her head back and laughs.

And she stays put and lets fourteen members of a male a cappella group from NYU sing her two more songs. She claps politely after each number.

* * *

Ellen pounces on her phone when it rings.

"Well, that was… interesting," Ethan, her cousin, says.

"How did she react?" Ellen says, a little anxiously.

"There are no words," Ethan says. "In a good way," he adds quickly. "Totally in a good way."

"Oh my God! I should have had someone videotape it. Come on, tell me."

"Well, first of all, she had no idea what was going on. So when I started singing, she looked at me like I'd just, I don't know, started coughing up baby animals."

Ellen snickers.

"And then she figured out what was happening and she looked sort of annoyed and really awkward, because people were watching –"

"—I thought you said it was good!"

"No, no, it was. Because then she started laughing, and she got this huge grin on her face and she didn't stop smiling for ten minutes."

This is better than Ellen could have hoped for. Her insides are doing a dance.

"Thank you, Ethan. Thank you so much. I owe you."

"Wait, you _are_ paying us, right?"

"Yes, of course. I'll write you a check."

When Ellen gets off the phone, she sees she has a text.

"_You're in trouble,"_ it reads. She smirks.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

_**What Did You Do?**_

They meet for a drink after work on Monday. Arriving a little late - her phone wouldn't stop ringing at work today - Ellen catches sight of Patty sitting at the bar. Patty doesn't see her yet, so Ellen takes a few extra seconds in which to admire the bemused smile that is softening the lady's features as she gazes into , feeling daring, Ellen touches Patty's arm and kisses her hello. The kiss is brief and chaste, but still exciting because it's so new.

"Would you like to have dinner with Catherine and me tomorrow tonight?" Patty says as Ellen sits.

"I would love that."

"Good. She wants to see you."

"How is she?" Ellen asks.

"Her grades have improved, but she doesn't like her teacher."

"Sixth grade?"

"Yes."

"What do you think of her teacher?"

"Catherine has good taste," Patty says drily.

After a pause Ellen ventures, "Did you tell Catherine about the serenade?"

Ellen is watching closely for a reaction, so she sees the upward twitch at the corners of Patty's mouth that would be invisible to anyone else.

"I told her. She's sorry she missed it."

"So am I," Ellen says.

Patty clears her throat and looks stern.

"About that little stunt…"

Ellen rolls her eyes. "You liked it."

Patty smiles for real now.

"I liked it," she concedes. "But."

"But what?"

"You don't have to try to one-up me." Patty says.

Ellen is thrown.

"I wasn't –" she starts.

But she stops because she absolutely was. The rules have changed, but it's still a game.

Patty spoke humorously, and Ellen knows she should reply in kind. She opens her mouth to say, _I couldn't possibly top the kiss you gave me_. But the words die on her lips.

She feels cold. She is remembering what she once said to Tom: _If I had to deal with Patty every day, I'd lose myself_. She has always felt like she's struggling not to be subsumed by Patty. It's this struggle that has prompted her to press every advantage she has ever had – from her discovery of Phil's affair to her influence with Alex Benjamin to her knowledge of Jill's pregnancy.

"I think I do have to," she says slowly. "I have to keep up with you, Patty. I can't just… let you trap me in your web."

She smiles to take the sting out of her words, but Patty flinches and Ellen realizes she just called her a spider. Shit. That was smooth.

She tries again, "What I mean is, I don't like feeling like you're just, I don't know, reeling me in. I want to meet you halfway."

"You can dispense with the metaphors," Patty says and she isn't smiling. Her voice is brittle. "So your idea of meeting me halfway is to accost me with a pack of scrawny choir nerds?" She laughs unpleasantly.

Ellen blinks. "Ethan's my cousin. Do you have to be so nasty?" she says.

"Me?" Patty says. "You're the one who's insulting me and making me out to be some kind of predator."

"I didn't mean it as an insult. You're magnificent. You really are. You're – a titan."

Another miscalculation. Patty responded well to being called intimidating just three days ago, but now she seethes.

"I see," Patty says. "Like most of the _men _I've dated, you can't handle a powerful woman." She looks past Ellen at the wall behind her head. "Why did I think it would be different?" she muses. Then she starts to gather her belongings over her arm. "I have to go."

"Is dinner still on?" Ellen says.

Patty smiles cruelly. "I think it would be a waste of time, don't you?"

She pushes through the door and vanishes up the street. Ellen has a lump in her throat. But she doesn't cry.

* * *

Once home, Ellen is able to shut everything out and work for a while. She is preparing to pitch a case to her partners, and she wants them to be excited about it.

But eventually she shuts her laptop and sits back to think.

During the High Star case, Ellen thought she and Patty had achieved a sort of symbiosis. Ellen had gotten a high from successfully manipulating her former boss. She had exploited Patty's predilection for giving advice, her protective instincts and even her childcare needs. She had been using Patty as much as Patty was using her, if not more, and she had liked it that way.

_And look how well that turned out_, she laughs bitterly to herself. _See what happens when you try to get the best of Patty? Parsons, you're an idiot_.

At nine thirty, Ellen gets a text message. She squints. Whose number is that?

"_She's drunk,"_ it reads. _"What did you do?"_

"_Who is this?"_ Ellen responds, even though she has already guessed.

"_C."_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 8_**

**_No, It's Spiderwoman_**

_Dear Patty,_

_I apologize for the unkind things I said and implied on Monday. The only excuse I have to offer is that I honestly was not trying to hurt you. I think because I knew you first as my boss, I somehow expect you always to be as impervious to insult and injury as you seem to be in a conference room or during a deposition. _

_The fact remains that I was unnecessarily rude and insulting, and for that I am truly sorry. However, I was trying to express something that I continue to feel very strongly – namely, that I'm not interested in having a relationship in which I am anything less than an equal participant and partner. If you want to sweep someone off her feet, then I don't think I'm the girl for you._

_We rushed into something this weekend without thinking it through. You and I have so much history, Patty. We can't possibly be casual. It looks like we can't be committed, either. Maybe we just aren't meant to be?_

_I wish you well, and I hope you can forgive me._

_Ellen_

Patty is sipping a glass of bourbon and reading the letter for about the one hundredth time. There are a couple of smudges where her tears fell, although she isn't crying now. She is frowning thoughtfully. It's Thursday night. It has been ten days since the fight, and Patty has run the gamut of emotions in the interval, but tonight she feels fairly placid.

Ellen's words on Monday stung, but Patty was kidding herself if she didn't expect something like this. After all, she has been here before. And Patty knows what she needs to do. She did it for years with Phil. She's done it with other men. She has to give Ellen some semblance of control over their relationship. Well. Patty can do that. She can let Ellen choose the movies and the restaurants and the vacation destinations. Ellen is worth it.

Patty unwraps a Cadbury chocolate almond bar and eats a square. The problem is, she's not sure Ellen will agree to see her right now. Ellen thinks they are finished. Patty is stuck for an opening gambit. The way to go about it, she thinks, is to ask the girl for help with something. But what?

She isn't getting anywhere, so she trains her mind on another pressing problem: Catherine's birthday. She is turning thirteen on Monday, and while Patty has purchased a few presents, she wants to do something a bit more momentous. Last year she took Catherine and several of her friends to the beach house for a night. But Catherine and her friends are getting older and their sleepovers are getting less innocent. At Michael's thirteenth birthday party, he and his friends lit up a joint.

What would Catherine really like? The little girl's habitual expression these days is a sullen scowl. Patty wants to see her smile.

And then Patty has it. The elegant solution to both her problems. She finishes her chocolate bar and licks her fingers.

* * *

Ellen has finally crawled into bed after a long, eventful day. She took a witness's statement in the morning, only to have him skip town at lunch time. Ellen spent the better part of the afternoon tracking him down and the better part of the evening convincing him all over again to testify.

She turns off her lamp and shuts her eyes. Her cell phone rings. Perfect. She groans, swings her legs over the side of the bed and clicks her lamp back on.

"Hello?"

"Ellen. I need your help. It's about Catherine."

"Patty?"

"No, it's Spiderwoman."

"Jesus. I don't want to fight, Patty. I was about to go to sleep," Ellen says. "What's up? Is Catherine okay?"

"Can we talk face to face?"

"Now?" Ellen checks her watch. It's one thirty in the morning.

"How about tomorrow evening? I'll meet you at your apartment."

"This is really about Catherine?"

"Yes."

Ellen sighs. "Okay. See you tomorrow. Come any time after six."

* * *

When Ellen opens her door at seven o'clock on Friday, she sees two big black eyes staring up at her. Patty is holding a puppy – a tiny brown ball of fuzz with a lolling tongue and the sweetest face Ellen has ever seen.

Ellen melts for about a second. Then her eyes widen in realization.

"Oh, no. No, way, Patty. Absolutely not."

"Don't be so dramatic," Patty says, pushing past Ellen into the apartment. "She's not for you."

"Oh." Illogically, Ellen is disappointed.

"She's for Catherine. Her birthday's on Monday."

Ellen smiles. "Catherine will love her."

"I need you to take care of her over the weekend," Patty says, holding the dog out to Ellen.

Ellen doesn't take her.

"Me? Are you kidding? What do I look like, a kennel?"

"I tried kennels. They won't take a puppy this young unless you call long in advance. And she –" Patty strokes the animal – "was an impulse purchase. Weren't you sweetheart?" Patty looks up from the dog and gives Ellen a winning smile.

"I have things to do this weekend, Patty. I can't take care of a puppy. It's not exactly a small favor."

"Come on, Ellen. You like dogs. And I want this to be a surprise."

On cue, the puppy gives Ellen sad eyes.

"This has to be, like, chapter one in the manipulator's handbook," Ellen says.

"You're insulting me again," Patty says mildly.

Ellen shakes her head. "Fine. Fine, fine, fine, I'll take the dog. But this is for Catherine, Patty."

"Good," Patty smiles. She hands the dog to Ellen.

Ellen takes her and lets the soft, warm little creature nuzzle against her face. It's a gorgeous feeling, and Ellen accidentally directs her radiant smile at Patty. She straightens her features and tries to look irritated.

"What am I supposed to feed her? I don't keep kibble around to nosh on."

"So let's go shopping," Patty says.

"You're incredible," Ellen gripes. But she is already looking for her purse.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

_**Come on, You Know It's Over**_

Catherine comes downstairs in the T-shirt she slept in. Patty has tried giving her pajamas, but she refuses to wear them.

The girl is rubbing her eyes sleepily. Patty sips her tea. "Happy birthday," she says.

Catherine just yawns.

"Do you want me to make breakfast?" Patty tries.

"I'll do it. You don't do it right." Catherine says.

Any other day, this would be the beginning of yet another of their increasingly frequent fights. But Patty is too happy to be stung by Catherine's criticism today.

"Ellen is bringing your present by," she says.

Catherine stops pouring Rice Krispies into her bowl and raises her eyebrows. "So you guys made up?"

"Made up?" Patty says, feigning confusion.

Catherine rolls her eyes. "Fine. Pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm happy for you, anyway."

Patty opens her mouth and then shuts it. Why did she have to have such clever children?

"Can Ellen have cake with us tonight?" Catherine asks. She is slicing a banana into her cereal.

The door bell rings.

"That's Ellen," Patty says. "Why don't you invite her?"

Catherine studies Patty, who hasn't moved. "Aren't you going to let her in?" the thirteen-year-old asks.

"I think you should," Patty says. She doesn't try to hide her excitement. Suddenly intrigued, Catherine puts down her bowl and moves toward the door.

Patty watches intently as Catherine hesitates and then opens the door in one quick, dramatic motion.

There on the threshold is Ellen, holding out the puppy. Patty smiles, because both Ellen and the dog are just as beautiful as she remembered.

Catherine gasps. She reaches for the animal, then second guesses herself. "For me?" she whispers.

"Yep," Ellen says. "Happy birthday."

Catherine presses the dog to herself and ruffles its curly brown fur. "Is it a he or a she?" she asks.

"She," Ellen says.

"Oh," Catherine murmurs. Her eyes are huge with tenderness. After a moment, she looks up at Ellen and says, "Thank you."

"Thank your grandmother," Ellen says.

"Thanks, Grandma" Catherine says quickly. She barely looks at Patty, but Patty will take it.

"Do you know what you want to name her?" Ellen asks.

Catherine frowns and says, "I need to think about it." Then Patty sees Catherine's eyes flash. "I'll tell you tonight," the girl says to Ellen.

"Tonight?"

"You're coming over for dessert," Catherine explains, in a tone that says she will brook no opposition.

Ellen shoots a suspicious glance over Catherine's head at Patty, who shrugs innocently.

"Let's make it nine o'clock?" Patty says.

"Okay," says Ellen. "See you tonight," she looks back at the dog in Catherine's arms. "Take good care of her," she tells Catherine.

The girl nods.

"See you, Patty," Ellen throws over her shoulder as she leaves.

"Goodbye, Ellen."

* * *

Ellen arrives at work a few minutes early and begins to sort through her mail. She doesn't know how she feels about being invited to the Hewes residence for dinner. She is still annoyed with Patty both for failing to respond to her letter and for ignoring its contents. On the other hand, she is somewhat relieved not to be cut out of Patty's life again so soon. It would have been a painful loss.

Her reflections are cut short. At the bottom of her mail stack is an envelope that can only mean one thing. A source has come through for her. Her pulse quickens.

* * *

Ellen gets a phone call at midday.

"Ms. Parsons, my client has indicated that he would like to settle."

"We've been over this. The answer is still no."

She hears a dry cough. "He has authorized me to propose the sum of one and a half billion dollars."

Oh. That makes a difference. It is almost triple the last offer. Ellen carefully keeps the quaver out of her voice.

"Well," she says. "I'll take it to my clients and I'll let you know."

"Oh, come on, Ms. Parsons. You know it's over."

Ellen pauses. Then she says briskly, "It sounds like we'll be able to work something out, yes." She hangs up.

Then she dances in her seat. This is a huge victory, and one she can take sole credit for. Damn, but it feels good.

As she walks slowly down the hall to tell the partners, her smile gets wider and wider.

* * *

"_Happy birthday, dear Catherine. Happy birthday to you!" _

Ellen is realizing she has never heard Patty's singing voice before. It is rich and vigorous and full of flair.

The three of them are sitting at the kitchen counter. Ellen feels warm and contented as she sips her decaf espresso and watches Catherine blow out the candles on a beautiful white cake. In spite of her unresolved issues with Patty, Ellen can't help thinking that this might qualify as one of the best days of her life so far. She happily accepts a wide slice of cake.

Catherine gives Patty an even bigger slice.

"Goodness," Patty says.

"If I give you a small piece, you'll just eat more after I go to bed," Catherine tells her.

Patty looks indignant, and then, as both Catherine and Ellen laugh at her, she chuckles and looks guilty.

The puppy is sitting below Ellen's feet. She jumps up and nips at Ellen's ankles to get attention, and Ellen reaches down and strokes her curly head.

"So did you decide on a name?" Ellen asks Catherine.

Catherine grins. "Strawberry," she says.

"I see a theme," Ellen says.

"Duh," says Catherine.

When Catherine has finished her cake, she stands, scrapes her plate over the sink and then puts it in the dishwasher.

"I'm getting ready for bed," she announces.

"I should go," Ellen says, standing as well.

"Can't you stay a minute?" Patty asks her.

It's a loaded question, and Ellen thinks about saying no. She decides that would be cowardly. Catherine is looking anxiously from Patty to Ellen and back again.

"Sure, Patty," Ellen says at last.

Catherine gives Ellen an approving nod and leaves the room. Ellen hears her trudging up the stairs.

Left alone, the two women eye each other warily over the counter. Ellen feels torn. This should work, she thinks. Because she loves this: spending time with Catherine, who is shrewd and funny, and Patty, who is surprising and exquisite and, well, Patty-like. But Ellen still needs something from Patty. She needs some kind of assurance that Patty regards Ellen as an equal.

Patty gives her a slow smile.

"I hear we have something else to celebrate tonight," she says.

Ellen is startled. The settlement hasn't been announced yet. "Who told you?"

Patty names a lawyer at Ellen's opponent's firm. "Congratulations, Ellen. It's a big win."

"Yeah," Ellen smiles back. "Yeah it is."

"So?" Patty says.

"So what?"

"So, aren't you going to tell me about it? Come on, I want details. How did you do it?"

And everything changes in a second. Because Ellen hears it: the unmistakable note of pride in Patty's voice. Patty is not condescending. Nor is she jealous. Patty is looking at Ellen with pure appreciation, as if she is a statue by a Renaissance sculptor, powerful and astounding and glorious.

And Ellen moves around the kitchen island so quickly and fluidly that she is kissing Patty almost before either of them knows what is happening. Patty tastes like cake.

"Details later," Ellen gasps when their mouths separate.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter 10  
_**

**_I'm Right Here_**

Patty starts to say something, but Ellen pushes her backward. Patty staggers back into the counter and wedges her hands against the counter top for support. Ellen kisses her soundly and repeatedly._ Yes_, her kisses say. Yes to all of it. Yes to birthday parties. Yes to Catherine. Yes to Strawberry. Yes to dates, even if Patty organizes them. Yes to orange gladiolas. Yes to meeting for drinks after work. Yes to discussing thrilling cases together. And yes most especially to kissing.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" Patty says.

Ellen hadn't realized she'd spoken out loud.

"Yes, I want this." Ellen says softly. She kisses Patty again, this time high up on her cheek, and she allows her mouth to linger there while she clarifies, "I want you, Patty."

"No kidding," Patty says sarcastically, and Ellen laughs into her hair.

Patty takes a hand off the counter and slips it inside of Ellen's suit jacket. She slides her hand up and down the side of Ellen's blouse. Ellen shivers.

"I want this, too," Patty says. But then she pulls back, shaking her blond head. "However."

Ellen frowns, silently protesting the loss of contact.

Patty cocks her head to the side and listens. "I don't think Catherine is in bed yet," she says. "I would feel very foolish if she caught us -"

"—Making out?"

"Yes. Like a couple of teenagers."

"Like a couple of lovers," Ellen corrects.

"Lovers…" Patty looks thoughtful.

"What do you suggest we do?" Ellen asks.

Patty pauses. Then she says, "I'll meet you at your apartment tomorrow evening." She smiles her most challenging smile. "And you can seduce me."

Patty reaches for Ellen and gives her one more kiss, soft and teasing at first, then deep and intense. Then she turns and leaves the room.

"Goodnight, Ellen," she calls over her shoulder, sounding smug.

As well she should. Ellen's feet are stuck to the floor. After several minutes, she gathers herself and heads for the door.

* * *

"_Seduce me," _Patty said. But Ellen doesn't need to seduce Patty. She already has. Ellen could do something impressive. And later, sometimes, she will. She will dress up for Patty and buy her fabulous gifts and bake her inimitable cupcakes. But this evening she wants things simple. She wants to just be.

She dresses in jeans and a dark green cotton shirt. She busies herself with folding laundry while she waits for Patty to arrive. When the doorbell rings, she finds she feels relaxed.

Patty is wearing her work clothes – a light pink silk blouse and a dark grey pencil skirt.

They kiss hello, but it's an awkward kiss this time – their teeth click together. Ellen almost apologizes, but doesn't.

"I thought I would stay the night," Patty says, gesturing at the overnight bag she has brought. "Is that alright?"

"What about Catherine?"

"She's sleeping over at a friend's house."

"On a Tuesday?"

Patty spreads her arms. "I'm on a business trip," she says.

"A business trip. Is that what Catherine thinks?"

"Catherine… if you figure her out, let me know."

Ellen laughs. Then she realizes she forgot to answer Patty's question.

"Yes, I'd love for you to spend the night."

"Good," Patty says.

They look at each other for a minute. Suddenly Ellen is at a loss. Now that they have time and it's really going to happen, she doesn't know how to begin.

"Something to drink?" she offers.

"No, thank you."

Maybe they should start with what's familiar, Ellen thinks.

"Come sit," she says. She leads the way into her living room. "Tell me about your day."

Patty waves a hand. "So much bullshit. I'd rather hear about your victory."

So they sit on the sofa and Ellen talks. She talks for almost a quarter of an hour. Patty is a very good audience. She hums sympathetically as Ellen describes setbacks and chuckles happily when she details her triumphs. Ellen wonders how she could have gone nine years without this easy camaraderie. It's dawning on her that she's been painfully lonely. She thinks about all the years coming home to an empty apartment, or worse, to a boyfriend or girlfriend who felt like an obligation rather than a companion. It's been grim. She didn't appreciate how grim until this moment.

* * *

Ellen has gone quiet. Patty sees a shadow cross the younger woman's expression. Instinctively she reaches out and tucks a strand of Ellen's soft brown hair behind her ear. Ellen's eyes lose their haunted look immediately and she smiles at Patty. She reaches out and puts a hand on Patty's cheek. Then she scoots closer and kisses her softly.

Oh. Patty loves this, kissing Ellen. It is not like kissing anyone else.

"Come on," Ellen says. "I'll show you where you're sleeping."

"With you, I thought."

"That's what I meant."

They don't quite make it to the bedroom, though, because Ellen resumes kissing Patty in the hallway.

Pressed up against the wall, Patty is conflicted. She doesn't want to stop kissing. But her back is starting to hurt, and she would really prefer to get Ellen in a bed. Not for the first time in her life, she wishes she were taller and could get some leverage. Well. There are ways of getting what she wants. She slides a hand up the inside of Ellen's pant leg to her crotch. As Ellen's knees weaken, Patty is able to catch hold of the girl's two hands and pull her toward the bedroom.

She kicks her shoes off and sits on the edge of the bed, still holding both of Ellen's hands at once.

Ellen lets go, steps back and regards Patty gleefully.

"Patty Hewes is in my bed," she says.

"Stop smirking and come here," Patty says, reclining against the pillows.

"I will," Ellen says.

In a series of quick, graceful movements, Ellen pulls off her jeans and shimmies out of her shirt. Patty watches transfixed. Ellen is long and lean and toned. She is astonishing.

Now wearing nothing but a black bra and panties, Ellen climbs into bed and hovers over Patty, kissing her methodically.

Then Ellen reaches for the buttons of Patty's silk blouse. "May I?"

"Please do."

_The moment of truth_, Patty thinks. Patty is proud of her figure, but she is over seventy. Ellen has probably never seen a woman her age undressed. She stares fiercely into Ellen's eyes, daring the younger woman not to like what she sees.

But Ellen's face lights up as she exposes Patty's midriff. She bends to kiss Patty's throat, then kisses her way down her collarbone and continues on a path toward her belly. Patty wants to tell Ellen to hurry up – no, slow down – no, she can't decide. It doesn't matter anyway because she is breathing too raggedly to speak. So she buries her hands in Ellen's long hair, runs her fingers over the young woman's smooth back and firm ass, and lets the feelings wash over her.

She doesn't complain when Ellen unhooks her bra and casts it aside. She wouldn't dream of complaining when Ellen takes Patty's right breast in her mouth and slides a hand inside Patty's underwear. As Ellen's fingers and then finally her tongue work their way toward Patty's center, Patty finds her voice at last. She cries out Ellen's name repeatedly.

Ellen crawls up next to Patty and kisses her shoulder while she recovers. As Patty's breathing slows, Ellen looks her in the eye and smiles.

The girl is looking awfully proud of herself, which riles Patty just a little. Moving swiftly, she flips Ellen onto her back and smiles wickedly back at her.

"My turn," she says.

* * *

Ellen wakes in the middle of the night to a low moaning sound.

"Patty?" she says.

There is no response. She clicks on a light. Patty is asleep, but she moans again. Then she starts to twitch.

It is terrible to watch, so Ellen begins to shake Patty's shoulder.

"Patty," she says firmly. "Patty, wake up. Wake up." It becomes a chant.

Patty's eyes blink open. They appear wild with terror.

"It's alright, Patty. It's alright. I'm here," Ellen says softly.

Patty tries to say something, but no words come out.

Ellen reaches out and brushes back Patty's blond forelock. "Shh," she says.

Patty shakes her head and tries again. Her voice comes out hoarse.

"I tried to kill you."

So that's it. In Ellen's mind's eye, she sees the attack play out. The barking dog, the knife, the shattered glass, the blood. Patty did that. But Ellen made her peace with that years ago.

She looks into Patty's tortured expression. She bends and kisses her temple. Then she reaches for the woman's hand and laces their fingers together.

"I'm here, Patty," she says again. "I'm right here."


End file.
